The short answers are biology and psychology! Physiologically speaking, it is because we are hearing our voice via bone conduction. When we hear ourselves talk, our voice bypasses the middle ear, and the vibrations from our diaphragm are transferred directly to our cochleae via our skull—in other words, bone conduction!
But that’s just the biological aspect. Research has shown that what others hear when you speak can influence how you are perceived, leading to assumptions about your intellect, wealth, emotions, and a plethora of other attributes. Knowing that a listener could make a snap judgment about you just based on your voice makes people nervous.
People in professions where using their voice is crucial (think journalists, CEOs, politicians, actors, etc.) often alter their voices to fit their job demands. Female newscasters may lower the pitch of their voice because lower pitched voices may denote authority. Think of a comedian who is very good at voice impersonations. They are frequently altering their voices.
There is a lot of pressure to sound “just right” to others, whether you are a professional speaker or not. Thankfully, altering what we sound like to others is something we have control over, should we wish to do so. How we hear ourselves when we speak, however, is not something we can change. Keeping this self-perception of our speaking voices in mind could be very helpful when assisting a new hearing aid user during fine tuning in a fitting session.
Reference
Craven J. (2025) Why do people hate the sound of their own voice? The biology and psychology behind the disconnect. Popular Science. (accessed January 29, 2025).
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